I noticed today a contentment that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Alarmingly though, as soon as I remembered the last time I felt this, I had an immediate feeling of dread. I know something is going to come along and burst my bubble and it’s going to hurt. But you know what? This time is going to be different. I’ve learned a few things since then about the highs and lows of the soap opera of life. Happiness is fleeting. This time I’m building resilience.
The bubble burst
It was an oddly ordinary evening. I had just finished the dinner, ready to juggle the tidying, the washing, the hundred and one questions you get from your kids about life, the world and everything, when a wash of contentment came over me. I noticed I was happy. I haven’t said those words in I don’t know how long now, and it should be a good thing. So why am I worried?
Have you ever felt that if you even dare to acknowledge the tiniest shred of happiness that something always seems to happen to bring you back to earth? Like somehow you are able to jinx your happiness simply by acknowledging it?
When my youngest was born after years of trying, I was standing in the bathroom one day and I felt that same wash of contentment. It made me smile. And then came the dread. Much like when you dare to mention it hasn’t rained for a while, and then it does, I knew something was coming. A few weeks later my dad died from Covid.
The two events are obviously unrelated. There is no rationality to linking the two, other than a fundamental belief that happiness is fleeting.
When I was drowning in grief for the loss of my dad, Mo Gawdat’s Solve for Happy was a lifeline. Immersing myself in his book was not only a helpful distraction, but it fundamentally changed my perspective on how much control I have over my own thoughts and my own happiness. It even changed my perspective on the meaning of life! It was a lovely gift from my husband at a time when I needed it the most. If you’ve suffered from the loss of a loved one, I highly recommend reading Mo Gawdat’s Solve for Happy.
Relentless pursuit of happiness
My relentless pursuit of happiness was born. Leaving my job to explore making money from following my interests was the natural next step (see my blog post on The Great Resignation).
It appears that despite my well-established accountancy career now being in freefall and despite having absolutely no idea how successful I will be at making money from my blog and selling positivity tees (check out my SHOP) or any other hustle I might experiment with over the next few months until my F. U. money runs out, I’m the happiest I’ve been for ages. Side note – if you haven’t heard of F.U. money this vid explains it – F.U. money is a game changer!
I suspect there are a few contributing factors to my current state of contentment. The biggest one being that I took a measured risk when I left and I’m now doing all the things I said I would do – I had a safety net and a plan and I’m sticking to it.
Do you have a happiness plan?
If you’ve had enough of your job and you’re thinking of jacking it in, consider a few things before you give them middle-digit:
Could you easily get a similar job somewhere else?
I’m a qualified chartered accountant and there are tons of boring but reasonably paid jobs still out there – if I run out of money I can always fall back on that. Some sound advice that obviously came from a proper grown-up (my dear old dad).
Do you have enough money to quit without finding another job first?
This will mean a quicker exit but you could end up depleting your rainy day fund unless you put your money to work.
I’m grateful I have enough to invest in some cash generating assets. My dad kindly left me some money when he passed away. I’ve also been squirreling away a bit of my salary every single month for years (more sound advice from my dear old dad) so I’ve got a half decent pot. It’s not enough to retire on, and I fully intend to pass it onto my kids to make life a bit easier for them when they come to leave the nest. But it is enough to curb the sting of having no income while I’m trying to find my feet.
Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki is an easy read that provides a real-world understanding of things that are considered assets (things that you own that put money in your pocket like dividend-paying stocks) and things that are considered a liability (things that you owe money on like mortgage debt or a car lease). This book really helped me understand how important it is to put money into owning cash generating assets. You need assets that pay you interest, dividends, rent etc.
Do you have other skills or qualifications from which you could earn income?
Consider freelancing on websites like Fiver and Upwork.
Would you consider doing a job outside of your technical expertise?
Turns out there are a myriad of ways to make money online without previous experience. Here are just a few odd jobs I found while browsing on Indeed that I might consider doing myself if I’m caught short:
- Reviewing products (movies, products, music, etc.) for online sites
- Participate in online focus groups
- Provide transcriptionist services
- Teach English online
There are many other websites like Forbes and Shopify with some great ideas on how to make online. You could pick a few to mix and match to generate a decent income.
The take-home
There are inevitable dramas in life. While going rogue certainly gives you independence, it does just expose you to a different list of potential problems. Are those ‘different problems’ the inevitable rainy day? Yes. Does the rain make the sunny day less important? No!
Happiness is fleeting and you only have control over your thoughts and actions. You cannot control anyone else’s thoughts or actions and there are so many other things that are also out of your control. Gratitude builds resilience to life’s inevitable drama and so does surrounding yourself with people that energise you.
Personally, I now intentionally listen only to influencers and people who inspire me to be the best version of myself and I give space to people that drain me.
My happiness at the moment, I believe, is attributable to me making progress with the things that matter to me. Mel Robbins (motivational speaker) believes this is key to productivity. But I know there will be a bump in the road at some point that will make me question whether I am doing the right thing. But what is the “right thing”?
I suppose whatever keeps us true to our values really is what determines whether the thing we are doing at any moment in time is the “right” thing for that moment.
If you liked this blog post, check out my other blog posts here
Take care.
